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Arkwright - The Independent Voice
When Ebenezer Scrooge sat on his high chair at his slanting desk with quill, ink and an enormous ledger it would have been perfectly reasonable for funds paid into a bank to take a few days to reach another account, particularly if it was at another branch or even more so another bank altogether because one was obviously relying on carrier pigeons in those days.
Now, in the 21st century,with technology bouncing off satellites quicker than you can say: “internet banking”, how can the all powerful money houses justify the mystery three working days our money spends in the ether? Once paid in I no longer have the money, the account I’ve sent it to hasn’t received it so what is the middleman doing with it? Presumably making enough on it, while in transit, to pay those obscene city bonuses. A couple of months back my credit card payment sat in the mystery transit zone causing the credit not to meet the deadline, so the following month I was charged interest which for that 24 hour “late” period equated to 30.1% pa!! Naturally, a letter was hastily written saying,“Close my account. The highway robber is not dead, you simply use realms of small print to justify your thieving instead of wearing a mask” and signed it ‘Angry of The Sports Shop’.Whilst telephone calls get diverted to the Far East they do maintain a PO Box in this country but it took nearly four weeks for them to reply. The three little words “Close my account”worked wonders resulting in all interest charges being refunded.Unsurprisingly there was no explanation for the three-day moratorium.
Model family
Breaking into the modelling world brought on by our enthusiasm to save the planet didn’t go quite as planned. Our son happened to have a day off so he thought he’d tag along, this proved to be a huge mistake because the photographic team took far more of a shine to his talents than mine! The media company thought it was great we had turned up as a family and decided, rather than a few boring shots of a couple (fortunately they didn’t say a few shots of a boring couple), it would be far more entertaining if us parents got into a wheelie bin (clean thankfully!) while our son tried to close the lid – the caption would then read, amusingly, “I wish I could recycle my parents”. I always enjoy a good joke, particularly at my own expense, and the fact neither of us is anywhere near a size zero made it a very tight squeeze, which seemed to make it all the funnier for those watching. In an effort to look professional we didn’t complain but both soon realised that a life of fake smiles and pulling faces for the camera would not be for us on a regular basis.
Back at the shop, the modelling world now no longer a viable escape plan,we decided a radical revamp was needed to boost business.Any sign of change seems to bring out the nosiness in people, particularly in a small town! I almost began to think I was popular the number of people that popped in and consequently shopped when we’d whited out the windows while we rearranged fixtures and did a spot of painting. Perhaps I’m not as useless at window dressing as I thought, I just shouldn’t put so much effort in. Look as though you’re closing down and the vultures circle, falling over themselves to be part of the action. By accident I’d found a perverse attraction.
After a hard days work…
A little rest is now needed from all the excitement of running my own business and I’ve chosen Lake Como for a few days tranquillity. If it’s good enough for George Clooney I’m optimistic it will be good enough for me.Unlike in Britain where politicians pretend it doesn’t happen, in Italy you know exactly where you are with corruption – right in the middle of it! One holiday there we had our suitcases and all possessions stolen from our parked car. When we reported it at the police station, which overlooked the parking area, a policeman started suggesting a number of expensive items to include on the report. “No, no we haven’t got any of those things”we said.“Si, si, you write vieeedeeeo camera, Cartier watch, then I stamp-a the paper for the insurance. It’s-a like magic!” great, a cheating policeman. We shouldn’t have been surprised we later learned when we had the Dolce Vita system explained to us by a hotel manger in Sorrento as we checked in totally luggageless. There, tourists are seldom the victims of crime thanks to an extremely comprehensive protection scheme run by a network of burly blokes in dark glasses funded by regular contributions from businesses. Crime and protection run by the same organisation, a simple solution that works we were assured!
