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Arkwright - The Independent Voice
Through the summer we’d planned a refurbishment of the flat above the sports shop, or “apartment” as we refer to it for our holiday guests – sounds a bit more 'travel brochure'!
We bade farewell to some short break Autumn ramblers then set to ripping kitchen and bathroom from their fixings, layers of wallpaper drenched in varying paint shades and mismatched light fittings; our Sarah Beeny makeover moment had arrived and with it a good few arguments about keeping to schedules and budgets. I’ve been told very firmly that if I make so much as one further reference to “how Sarah would have done it” I will be out in the skip with a load of rubble on top of me.
Unfortunately no stash of cash has been found under the floorboards, hidden by a previous occupier and then forgotten, nor a rare first edition. However propping up a kitchen unit was a copy of The Daily Telegraph (classy tenants obviously!) of Thursday, October 8, 1987 – just about 20 years to the day after it was placed there, by coincidence, it was unearthed. Not only does it have the date in common but the topics on the front page haven’t changed much when compared with today’s headlines: “a rigorous crackdown on the carrying of knives…”, “American interest rates rose from 8.75% to 9.25%” and “a weakened dollar, at $1.6410”. Obviously the rigorous crackdown on knives didn’t work and America’s economic roller coaster is hurtling downwards again with the dollar even weaker! I’m putting together a summary of my angry thoughts to tuck behind the new kitchen units we’ll be installing which may be found by an owner in years to come and wonder if it will spark a feeling of camaraderie: city bosses get huge salaries and payoffs for lending irresponsibly, the results of which created another form of boom and bust, school kids receive £30 a week bribe to stay on at/go to school, across the world people have taken credit they clearly can’t afford, university students (meant to be the more intelligent in society) think it’s clever to say how in debt they are rather than get a grip on reality, take responsibility for themselves and get a part time job which they could easily do as they only attend (if they bother to get up in the morning) lectures for about 15 hours a week…
I hate takeovers; I have yet to get a better service or save money when this happens to a goods or service supplier and I have yet to hear of a takeover that actually creates employment; there are always job losses. When we first had our business the burglar alarm for the building was provided by a national company with an attitude and price I didn’t care for. A few phone calls and I’d signed up with a local company at a more competitive rate; all was well for a some years then they were taken over by a regional company and now, a few more years later, we’re back in the grip of the national company I first escaped from. My exit strategy is once again planned, fortunately I know an engineer from the 'local' company who is already in business on his own. I am far more downhearted by the news that Nike are circling Umbro, with a view to a takeover, as no such escape or alternative will be possible. Call Umbro today and I’m through to a happy voice (you know who you are Darren!), a positive attitude and someone who wants to help and sell. Besides, I’m still grateful for a very nice time they gave us at Chelsea a few years back. Can that personal touch be retained if Nike’s advances succeed and would Nike’s metaphoric message for small fry to clear off be imposed on Umbro’s customer relations? Reebok so far appear to be retaining their old charm but adidas’s accounting methods have been substituted; personally, I much preferred the old-style Reebok invoice presentation.
Property Development breaking news: I’m now in the skip, I just couldn’t stop myself from saying that the taps were not the ones Sarah would have chosen. From here I am attempting to direct operations but think I’m largely ignored. The electrician has abandoned us in favour of installing the town’s Christmas lights and the plumber keeps telling me how busy he is. I had thought of saying, “Well talk less about it and you might get on quicker” but Sarah’s words rang in my ears: “Don’t alienate the artisans, keep in their good books”.
On reflection, look where listening to her has got me. Tomorrow I’m going to tell him to speed up a bit and risk being told where to shove my ballcock!
