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Arkwright - The Independent Voice
Once again William Shakespeare and my Mum are right! He wrote the words and she repeated them like a mantra to me: "Neither a borrower nor a lender be" and thankfully I heeded the indoctrination. Until recently I didn't realise there was more to the saying but having looked it up I see it reads on:
"For loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry", if only our leading politicians had studied English Literature, rather than Law, the warning was there all the time! For all their highbrow political talk and fancy university backgrounds they've landed us well and truly in the poo. Those who read History ignored the fact it often repeats itself and the Economists/Physicists completely forgot what goes up comes down... and as for my Mum's other favourite, "Take care of the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves", Chancellors should have had that tattooed on their foreheads to remind them of their responsibilities. Clichés they may be but all are a lot wiser words than the twaddle that comes out of the mouths of today's financiers. One thing's for sure, having thumbed through my Complete Works of Shakespeare, the Bard was far too sensible to have had a credit card because nowhere can I find any reference to chip and pin.
In hard pressed times, combined with the high profile of green issues, why is it that I continue to receive multiple mailings from my bank on the same day, all in separate envelopes with separate postage? Banks are not alone in doing this as I also often receive an invoice and a statement on the same day from suppliers, again, in separate envelopes and incurring separate postage. It's clearly "the computer's fault" but who programs the computer? If I've identified pounds worth of waste relating to my accounts alone, multiply that worldwide and we could be looking at turning the banking world around a lot quicker than Gordon is currently dreaming of and slowing global warming at the same time by using far fewer envelopes. I'd better not have too many more of these clever ideas or Saint Peter Mandleson could find himself on a job swap with me.
On the positive side the appalling weather at the start of the month boosted rainwear sales but on the negative caused the shop door to swell making it difficult to open. Initially this had an adverse effect on potential customers as gaining entry was proving too much of a challenge and they stood outside muttering about the shop being closed or would shuffle off before I could play doorman. I was reluctant to ease things by starting to plane down the door because my carpentry skills have always been somewhat limited so rather than mess up the edge of it completely I opted to enlarge the OPEN sign. This didn't improve the situation at all. I added a large PUSH sign next to the handle; that didn't really help either, they still stood at the door clutching the handle and looking perplexed, particularly those who don't speak English. Those that did manage to open the door would do so with such force they'd then trip over the step and come stumbling into the shop. Health & Safety was fast becoming an issue, it was clear a solution had to be found. A few minutes at the computer and I had a great looking poster saying: "Concerned about your fitness levels? Take our easy-to-assess door opening test. Push hard and lose that lard!" Talk about regaining customer goodwill, they still had trouble opening the door, most still tripped over the step but were laughing as they did so and selling to someone who's happy is so much easier than selling to someone who is disgruntled before they even step (or fall) inside.
Christmas would appear to be keeping a low profile this year, usually by now we'd be bombarded with the number of shopping days to go and a whole load of hype about expectations. One can only assume the Christmas Elves, who normally drive this overt materialism, are being held hostage by the banking world to sit alongside their imaginary money and keep it safe while the bad news unfolds. Despite this, surprisingly, for one of the world's worst procrastinators, I think I've already decided on my new year's resolution but fortunately with the first of January some way away, in true procrastinator form, I don't have to implement it for a couple of months and the resolution, if it happens, is... I must stop putting things off!!
