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Arkwright - The Independent Voice
When I overheard a traffic warden outside the shop ask a passing pedestrian what the name of the street was so she could issue a ticket I peeked out looking for a hidden camera, it had to be a wind up. Having found the pedestrian as much of a stranger to the area as herself she asked me the same question.
“Isn’t knowing where you are a basic tool of the trade?” I enquired, thinking it would be like me not knowing the difference between a cricket bat and tennis racket. There followed a complicated explanation about staffing issues but the truth of it was she’d been dropped into a new area without so much as a street map, lucky for anyone parking illegally that day! Clearly she and her bosses had not been subjected to the Mystery Shopper experience and subsequent debrief I had recently undergone; otherwise their awareness of what they are meant to do would have been considerably sharper. I had completely forgotten that I’d agreed to be a guinea pig in the Ultimate Shopping Experience trial so the analyst’s arrival long after the event was a surprise. Fortunately, it transpired, the mystery shopper had caught me in a good mood and I scored top marks for friendliness. My appearance and product knowledge also notched up ten out of ten. However, I lost marks for not wearing a name badge! I told the analyst in my view badges are an invitation for people to be far too familiar and that the French have the right idea of having tu and vous where one doesn’t cross the boundary from the polite form vous until invited to do so. He looked a bit sheepish at this point having called me by my first name on arrival. We failed completely on Question 4.1 of the report,which read: Did the staff appear as a team? The response column was marked “No”. Is this a reflection on my marriage or was the shopper just not that sympathetic when judging couples joined together in holy matrimony who work together? Perhaps if we’d been dressed like clones and labelled Mr and Mrs we’d have fitted the positive tick boxes better. The very thought fills me with horror, an independent shop is not and should not be a mini take down of the multiples nor all the practiced speech of being corporate. Nowhere did the assessment allow for spontaneity, quirkiness or other amusing attributes that help to brighten and lighten our lives giving some credit to originality.
Twilight Zone
Six years ago, totally without my permission, I found my electricity supplier had changed. When I objected the new account was immediately closed but my original account failed to reopen, I even got a refund on that one! My lights continued to come on and the till rang up but I no longer existed on the electricity suppliers’ radar, despite various attempts on my part to be recognised. The result was my being unable to go back to the original supplier nor could I move forward to another, truly a twilight world! Last month a huge estimated bill arrived on the mat, this was slashed in half when I read the meter and an offer of a 25% reduction was offered when I gave vent to my frustration at the treatment I’d received. From conversations with the power supplier and friends in business it is apparent this chaos is a common occurrence and one imagines the power providers build in their loses for their incompetence to the customers that do get billed, unfairly inflating customer overheads. I obviously haven’t learned from the complications of this experience as tempted by more favourable terms I’ve now committed to changing credit card processor for the shop. Having waded through and completed the paperwork required I wonder at how my sanity will hold up if all does not go smoothly with the transition.
Rebellion
This month’s highlight away from the shop has been a school reunion. We hadn’t met up for years and rather disappointingly I wasn’t remembered for my prowess on the tennis court nor clever fouls on the hockey field that went undetected but instead many recalled the high standard of teacher baiting I went in for; a sport that always got a lot of laughs and a lot of time out in the corridor when the teachers could stand no more of me! Thankfully I behave better than that in the French classes I attend now and when a class swot suggested we needed extra homework last week I simply thought c’est la vie!
