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Arkwright - The Independent Voice
Doesn’t your heart just sing at the latest show of support for retailers from our wise lawmakers? We all have moments of mild insanity but what was their state of mind when they struck on the idea of suspending shoplifters’ fines if offenders agree to a period of good behaviour? Shoplifter/good behaviour: words one is unlikely to use in the same sentence if you are a realist.
Meetings where some of these crazy schemes are dreamed up must be like scenes from the King’s New Clothes, one prankster throws out a daft idea and the other attendees are so intent on sucking up to the chairman or wishing to be seen as politically correct they lose sight of rational thought and no one has the courage to shout “You’re mad!” In my pre-retail days I worked for a man who was superb at manipulating the board of governors who were our masters. At the end of one meeting,where he’d got his own way again, he turned to me and asked how I thought it went. “One of them went to sleep and the others are idiots” I responded. “You know that, I know that and probably most of them know that but none of them want to admit it to each other so they go in for a lot of pseudo intellectual mumbo-jumbo before nodding items through”. I can only imagine a similar scenario happened with the decision making on shoplifters’ suspended fines. Next time any of us get a parking or speeding ticket we should try saying to the authorities we’ll be good for a while and perhaps they’ll let us off, after all what’s good for the shoplifting goose should be good for the gander driver!
It’s a blame culture
I’ve discovered there’s a down side to the modelling malarkey I got involved in earlier in the year. I was thrilled to endorse recycling and grace the cover of the recycling campaign booklet in our area but how naïve I was. Since it hit the doormats people have been coming into the shop not to give me money in exchange for sporting paraphernalia but to tell me their wheelie bin is too small/too big/wrong colour/been stolen or complain of other perceived shortcomings of the system and that’s all before the recycling collections start, heaven knows what I’ll find dumped at the shop door next week if the bin men disappoint. Do players blame Fred Perry or Tim Henman so harshly if a tennis match is lost when shorts or rackets carrying their endorsements are used?
Flying the flag of the independent
Saturday Boy, having grown used to the advantages of having his home and mother to himself, was keen to ensure his sister returned to university after a “reading week” (student euphemism for doing nothing) so went along for the ride to drop her off. I asked him if he’d enjoyed the trip. “Cr**”, he said, not being one to mince his words. “I went into Liverpool but I needn’t have bothered travelling all that way, every shop was just the same as any of the major towns around here”, the words were uttered with real disappointment by a seventeen year old who obviously thought the city would offer something more. Even the young are beginning to see that this blanket of multiples covering the country is boring and bland. “Perhaps Robert Louis Stevenson was in Liverpool when he said to travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive” I suggested to Saturday Boy, “Well he certainly can’t have gone via the M1 because that was awful too” he snapped back. Whilst he might not have enjoyed his little sojourn it has been a positive experience from my point of view as ever since he has very enthusiastically been flagging up the benefits of independents and our uncloned town to anyone who cares to listen.
London Olympic logo?
Gold, silver, bronze or booby prize for the chosen London Olympic logo? Let’s hope this is not a classic example of how wisely they’ll be spending the mammoth budget for the big event. I thought Seb Coe’s reference to the dress code of defenceless gardeners was totally uncalled for, where did he dig (pun intended!) that up from? If this is the logo, it’s frightening to think what the stewards might be wearing in 2012 and the whole world will probably have a good laugh at the way our competitors are dressed during the opening ceremony if the designers and Olympic committee carry on in this vein. Instead of having top designers work on the logo they might have done better to let a class of 10 year olds loose on the project!
