There are times when I think customers divulge far too much information, and at other times they completely mislead you. I began to feel a little awkward when a chap came into the shop and launched into a story about how his wife just couldn’t get the hang of it. “I’ve told her,” he said, “If you can’t grip it, give it a good tug, then relax, you’ll never enjoy it nor be any good at it”.

Despite years of forward ordering and various forms of meticulous planning, in the hope of cracking the system to get my stock levels right, particularly for those elusive really hot selling products, I still have a sense of dread when catalogues arrive. One season I was so confused by the choices I even cut up entire catalogues, put all the pieces in a hat and made my decisions by pretending I was drawing a raffle. That method was almost as successful as the time I blindfolded myself and fumbled through the catalogues, randomly making choices by stabbing a pin in pages every now and again. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with how exciting I can make my life!

My parcel wrapping skills are about as bad as my window dressing abilities and they are little short of a car crash. I hate both tasks, having little patience for either, so avoid them whenever possible. The family groan at Christmas when I share out my offerings, last year they thought I surpassed myself when I distributed presents roughly wrapped in newspaper; it wasn't the fact I'd used newspaper that caused shocked glances but that I had actually bothered to attempt wrapping them at all that stunned my nearest and dearest. For me there's something so souldestroying about spending considerable time on crimping paper then trimming with ribbons and bows, knowing that it will take only seconds to have the thing ripped apart, and then watch all my hard work go straight in the bin so I just don't bother.

It all seemed like a good idea and I'm sure I'll think so again once things have calmed down but for now I'm totally traumatised. During the summer a cunning plan was hatched with the intention of making life easier by moving; not our house but of moving the sports shop to premises nearer to our house. Any mention of my having a "cunning plan" is like setting off a thousand alarm bells in my partner's mind and a smiling face quickly clouds over with a misty expression, so looking for sympathy from that quarter is getting pretty short shrift right now.

Supermarkets may think they rule the world, is it now possible that they believe by instructing their staff to make inane small talk with customers at the check out it will give that ‘corner shop' feel to a megastore? I live in an old market town that still has a butcher, baker and candlestick maker so thankfully I rarely have to venture to the dominating T, A, M and S words but last week's misguided trip to one such place reminded me again why I should stay away.

With all the hype in July surrounding the 40th anniversary of landing on the moon I've been pondering on what I was doing that day. It's amazing how one takes things in your stride when you are young; so many things were happening in the 60s it seemed only natural to go to the moon. Sadly as I've become a Grumpy I think the film Capricorn One was probably far more likely and "the landing" was all a fabulous con staged in the Arizona desert.

I felt it was time I booked myself an appointment at the surgery - not the doctor's or the dentist's as my health is holding up pretty well - the MP's surgery, the one the COD describes as the place an MP gives advice. Dangerous place! Would you take advice from the Labour Government or anyone associated with it? Anyway it wasn't advice I wanted, it was a protest I wanted to make about the meddling EU and its affect on part of our business.

Like many, the time of getting all my year end figures together has coincided with all the publicity surrounding MPs claims for questionable items on their expenses and it has caused me, and perhaps others, to realise we're being a little bit dim. Naturally, my accounting books include the costs involved with running the business but I realised that I had been very modest in my claims and there was a lot more in my life that could be related to running a sports shop that should, if I am to follow the inspirational behaviour of our elected parliamentarians, in future be included. I must just be more creative in what I call things. I thought I went on a skiing holiday in March but I realise now it was a research trip.

The holiday didn't quite go to plan but once I'd been discharged from hospital things seemed to pick up. The flight went fine; I wasn't that nervous surprisingly and as a believer in accepting in-flight hospitality any shaky moments I did have soon evaporated. Scheduled flights definitely work out cheaper for someone like me who likes to have more than their share of the drinks trolley! Disappointingly spirits are no longer available on the early morning flights apparently (dawn had already broken so not that early really) but wine sufficed.

I'm putting on my rose tinted glasses, forgetting the financial woes of the world, challenging trading conditions and grey skies to head off for the French Alps.  Pretending all is right with the world shouldn't be too hard once I'm lying back on the hotel's sundeck with a glass of glüwein looking up at Mount Blanc.  Sadly, actually being able to ski may be a little more testing. 

With all the negatives that abound at the moment, most of which we are helpless to influence, what a delight that the days are lengthening and thankfully politicians and bankers can't interfere there even with their deft, manipulative, hollow words - but I'm sure they would if they could. I feel so much better when I can get home in the daylight and don't have to use my SAD lightbox, saving money on electricity into the bargain.